The street lights are glowing and my thoughts are touching the sky. Breathing has never felt so good under the circumstances that I don’t feel alive anymore. The complications with my existence is the lack of belief that things can get better.  Sometimes I give up so easily, that I’m ashamed of ever even opening my eyes to see such beauty and letting it go in the end. I always find myself here, no matter which roads I decide to take. This bottomless pit of solitude and misery. There’s a tugging at my chest and butterflies that have subsided to live in my stomach. While plaguing feelings and horrific thoughts tend to my brain and hurt every inch of my body. Excessive bitterness. Lack of hope and the unwillingness to keep trying.

I think I’m just dying to feel alive.